ESSAY 1 REVISED

After reading my colleagues' work and sharing ideas, I realized I could improve my first essay by including a hook and work on mechanics.
If I had to  choose family over patriotism? I would pick family without hesitation. The argument of personal relations being more important than causes or patriotism, is true being that personal relations are more meaningful than patriotism. I agree that personal relations are more important because personal relations can actually spread positively while patriotism can spread negatively. People may say that their country or state is better than others which can start arguments, hatred, and competiveness  between other countries and states. Others may say patriotism is more important by saying 'what's so bad about loving your country'? , well many will do anything to promote their country whether it is in a good or bad way.
Personal relations is essential to a happy and positive life. Such as, having a relationship with family is basic human nature and provides support and comfort between people. A relationship with family can be all peace and calm while patriotism can be aggressive and debatable. Indeed, Patriotism can unite people together and make people agree on one thing however, it can start wars and put countries or states against one another. Supporters recognized wanting the best for their country and promoting it in that way, still they do not recognize many promote in a way that degrades other countries.
Therefore, personal relations are more important than patriotism in a way of spreading more positively. Personal relations is essential while patriotism is unnecessary unless used in a way to unite others together. Patriotism is mainly used in a negative way to bring other countries down, rise hatred and mistrust