The argument of personal relations being more important than causes or patriotism, is true being that personal relations are more meaningful than patriotism. I agree that personal relations are more important because personal relations can actually spread positively while patriotism can spread negatively. People may say that their country or state is better than others which can start arguments, hatred, and competiveness between other countries and states. Others may say patriotism is more important by saying 'what's so bad about loving your country'? , well many will do anything to promote their country whether it is in a good or bad way.
Personal relations is essential to a happy and positive life. Such as, having a relationship with family is basic human nature and provides support and comfort between people. A relationship with family can be all peace and calm while patriotism can be aggressive and debatable. Indeed, Patriotism can unite people together and make people agree on one thing however, it can start wars and put countries or states against one another. Supporters recognized wanting the best for their country and promoting it in that way, still they do not recognize many promote in a way that degrades other countries.
Therefore, personal relations are more important than patriotism in a way of spreading more positively. Personal relations is essential while patriotism is unnecessary unless used in a way to unite others together. Patriotism is mainly used in a negative way to bring other countries down, rise hatred and mistrust.
Hey Fatima I did not find a hook in your essay but you did have a thesis statement, I would just go over your essay and check for mechanics and the way you word your sentences. Instead of beginning your last paragraph with therefore, you should organize it by starting with in conclusion. Overall I enjoyed reading your essay.
ReplyDeleteHi. I enjoyed reading your essay. The only thing I found was that there wasn't any hook but other than that, it was such a great read!
ReplyDeleteHi. I enjoyed reading your essay. The only thing I found was that there wasn't any hook but other than that, it was such a great read!
ReplyDelete